We Never Fight. Is There Hope?

[Jennifer M. Hartsock]

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It’s almost midnight and I’m too anxious to sleep. I just sent off a Dear Conscious Question email to my college’s newspaper. They may or may not publish it with their answers, but I want to discuss my own feelings.

 

The question is: Most couples fight. This is not only seen as a method of growing closer, but a necessity for a healthy relationship. But what of those couples who don’t fight? Is there hope?

 

From a personal standpoint, my boyfriend of sixteen+ months and I have never fought. We’ve never had a heated argument, slammed the door, said mean things, finally cooled down, talked about it, and then did that, “I’m glad this happened. We’ve grown closer” crap.

 

If Eric and I have an issue, we talk about it. Yes, we actually discuss it.

 

The popular opinion of couples needing to fight every once in a while to be closer has actually poisoned my relationship. Why? Because there have been plenty of times where I feel like we should be fighting! I feel that to spice up our relationship, we need to have a bit more drama! It’s ridiculous! I’ve had many talks with Eric about this, and every time I realize how much of an idiot I am! But, hey, majority scares me, and I don’t want to be that couple who things fighting is stupid, and then it turns out everyone else is right.

 

So, in a nutshell: I don’t want to fight, and I feel that my relationship continues to improve because we don’t fight. I would also like other couples to stop telling me we should be fighting. My honest opinion is to make your relationship better by not needing to bicker to become closer. Become closer by being kind and loving!

 

I would like to say that most couples have their issues, and fighting seems to be the only thing that works, and that my relationship is rare, people are jealous, and consequently make themselves feel like they’re not “missing out on something better” by telling themselves that everyone SHOULD fight. It’s normal. I don’t know if this is true, but believe me, there are ALSO couples who love each other and are respectful of each other in ways that avoid hurt feelings. This, to me, is winning the jackpot of love.

 

Well, one factor of it ;) And having fun on the beach.