"Name: S.D. Lishan
Mia didn’t think she’d have to face the aura pirates so soon. The sixteen-year old would much rather hang out with her friends at her fancy private school for the richest…"
"Name: S.D. Lishan
Genre: Historical Fantasy
A ghost is talking to fifteen-year old Waldo Prospect, begging him to “come to 1270 Queen Califia Court.… Your father….” Waldo’s father has been missing…"
Thank you SO much for your attentive close reading of my synopsis draft! I can see that I still need to clarify and revise some parts of of it, and I'll incorporate your good comments, along with Stephanie's and…"
Your plot sounds very exciting and the boy-mc is sympathetic, and I'm sure he'll be very appealing to readers.
His goals and the stakes aren't very clear to me, and there were a number of details that seemed a bit…"
"Thanks so much for your reply, Stephanie. Your advice born out of experience certainly helps, but I think I need to chew on them for a bit, since the interplay of the mundane and the fantasy are so integrally woven (I like to think) into the book.…"
"Let me start by saying that this sounds like a really fascinating book and one that I would want to read. There's obviously a lot going on in it, and that causes problems for a synopsis. When I was working on synopses for my book, I…"
Thank you so much for your kind words. And I thought your comment about the ending of the synopsis was excellent. I won't post the whole synopsis again, but here's the revised last paragraph, taking into account your great…"
I thought your synopsis was brilliant the written.
The only comment I have to make is the very last line. Could we hear it Waldo voice? Just an idea. I think would have more of an impact.
I will read through it one more time and see if their…"
I like your synopsis, but I find myself confused about Damien and about the relationship between the mage and the defenders of the Liln. For example:
Par. 1: "An encounter with new student, DAMIEN CONROY"…"
"S.D. Lishan, BETWEEN US AND SPIRITLAND, YA/Historical fantasy-mystery
It’s 1970 and fifteen-year old Waldo Prospect’s sister is talking to ghosts. Since their father disappeared she’s been doing that a lot… but today…"
Generally, I like this synopsis, but I did have a few specific comments (see below). But overall, nice job. -- S.D.
STACIE Gunthar has a few problems. Not only is she the newest student at a high school smaller…"
Sarah and LM have taken a lot of time to give you some excellent advice at both the micro and macro levels. Like Stephanie, I'm going to wait until you revise this before I respond. I look forward to more completely hooked…"
Synopsis in serious need of repair? Wondering what goes here or there? Short synopsis repair is here. 1-2 pages, we don't care. Any longer though, you must look elsewhere. Group Coordinator is LM Prestion.See More
"S.D. Lishan, THE FLOWERING HANDS OF THE BOREALIS, YA/SF-Fantasy
Mia didn’t think she’d have to face them so soon. The sixteen-year old would much rather hang out with her friends at her fancy private high school for the richest…"
You've done a nice job cleaning this up. I reads much smoother with a nice pace to the action. Below are a few things I noticed, but overall, you're doing good.
Your MC moves around a lot. First he heads to his room,…"
I think you have a lot to offer in the group. I read your comment about settings and loved the Gardner exercise you suggested. So, yes, please post on the 16th and tell us about your books and your teaching and whatever you'd like to share. Links to your website/blog whatever are a great way to let people know who you are. We have no rules beyond all of us have to be brilliant when we post. *Laughing. here.*
An annual (automatically renewed) fee is REQUIRED for Premium Member accessto groups like: Submissions Mailbox, Query Kick-Around, Synopsis Repair Shop, Agent Insider II, Promotion Junction and Teen and Tween Research Info.