Although I may agree with the others about using a monologue to start out with, I did like the air about the first paragraph. Love the first sentence. :)
The second part flowed more quickly which most readers like. The action and her…"
Are you guilty of writing while parenting? Me too. Join others in the same boat. Paddle, paddle. It may be tough to find time to write with little ones at home but we can do it. Find help here! Group Coordinator: Sarah Negovetich.See More
An annual (automatically renewed) fee is REQUIRED for Premium Member accessto groups like: Submissions Mailbox, Query Kick-Around, Synopsis Repair Shop, Agent Insider II, Promotion Junction and Teen and Tween Research Info.