You are a strong writer. These five pages flowed - easy to read.
I kept getting caught up on something in Part I though.I feel Part I is over done in places. I remember in a writing crit group one of the critters writing to me -"keep it…"
I notice you use a logline. I had to read it three times to try to figure out what Dena was ripping and sewing -- truth. Once I got it, I still didn't understand it. Either make the logline easier to understand, or don't use one…"
"Tif Johnson, GIRL PLAYER, YA contemporary
Seventeen-year-old Dena Krester is living three different lives. She didn’t mean for it to get so complicated; all she wanted was a life beyond the art she created as a blossoming quilter, and…"
Thank you so much for your feedback! I think I really tried to focus on the imagery and the general theme of the book and personality of my MC in my query. Starting to really see how I have lacked showing the plot, and I'll be sure…"
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