"To Tawny From Laura and YALitChat!"

"Wow, the first sentence is amazing! I really want to read this story now! The rest of the story flowed nicely. My only suggestion is to try to bring out a bit of the character's voice. Good luck!"

"Thank you Mary! I made some tweaks based on your feedback. It's done, printed and mailed to the agent who requested it. Fingers crossed!"

"Hi Tawny! Love your first paragraph--great hook! P2: Even though your descriptions of Summer's "issues" is a little wordy, I really like the tone and voice you have there. If you're still within your word count, I'd leave…"

"Hi Sherry! Thanks for taking a look! I genuinely appreciate the feedback. Taking a look at those sentences right now..."

"Hi Tawny, I found a few things just in the first paragraph that you might be able to fix. The 2nd sentence is very long, you should be able to shorten it by taking out unnessary words. If the sentence works without them, they are not needed. the…"

"Lol! I need to really work on mine, but have found tons of stuff to help me procrastinate :-) It's coming though. "

"Hi LM, thanks for the feedback! I especially appreciate your taking the time to comment on each paragraph. Helps me know exactly where I need to spend some time and energy polishing it up. Had to LOL at your comment about para 9. You added a word…"

"Your synopsis really made me want to read your story. I think it still needs some tightening up though. Some paragraphs are over wordy with side story that takes away from your main plot. Paragraph 1: Great begining. You ended with a hook leading…"

"Your synopsis raised a lot of questions in my mind. 1. How are you able to make a character whose goal is dying sympathetic in the first few pages? 2. What powers has the Grey Man lost? Clearly he still possesses some. 3. Why does Tabitha agree to…"