"To Tamar
From Laura and YALitChat!!"
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Tamar Rydzinski
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Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"There's not enough plot here. Nightmare dude tells her the town isn't cursed. So what? What comes next?"
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"Is this historical fantasy or just fantasy inspired by history? Because there's a difference."
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"I like the way you build your world here. Raven is well-developed, too."
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"I don't think there's enough plot here."
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"I'm not sure why Krael needs to assume a new identity to join Vashyre-Hunters. Or what the mercenary bands are fighting. Or what the Valarian Knights are fighting."
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"Good job, here. But make sure that being disqualified from the contest this year isn't the only thing that will happen if she's found out, because she could always just apply again next year."
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"This is kind of like The Magic Schoolbus series. But it sounds like you stuffed too much into one book. Perhaps only one event per book?"
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"I like this pitch. Ten is a little young for middle-grade though. Might you consider making Becky older? (Though I admit, I don't remember her age in Tom Sawyer.)"
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"I like this, but wish I had a better sense of the world because you give me great glimpses, but I feel something missing."
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"People who are infected can change back? That's unique. But why doesn't everybody change back? Is Ivy really running from dancing? Or is she just running?"
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"I agree with Pam. And what do Eddie's poker playing skills have to do with reaching out to others?"
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"Faith sends what cars careening into each other? There's a lot that's trite about this pitch."
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"Completely agree with Pam."
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"I see so many elements in here period. Perhaps too many. There are a lot of ideas thrown at me and I have trouble unraveling them all.
1. Illegal to desire anything
2. Time can stand still
3. Love story
4. Mysterious secret
5. Raising of the dead
6.…"
Tamar Rydzinski replied to Georgia McBride's discussion Pitch Slam 2 is Here!"I also feel like this has been done before."
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Comment Wall (2 comments)
- At 12:53am on January 31, 2013,
StaffLaura Chesterson said… To Tamar
From Laura and YALitChat!!
- At 2:24pm on May 30, 2012,
StaffNicōle Olea said… We’re happy you’re here and know you must be eager to get started. We’ve prepared a NEW MEMBERS WELCOME PAGE just for you--please be sure to visit there first to help acclimate you to the site, community and content. You will also find links to FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS, ABOUT US, COMMUNITY RULES and MEMBERSHIP INFORMATION helpful. As YALITCHAT.ORG operates on a tiered membership structure some of our services and groups are available to those who have a TIER II level membership. For more information, please visit the MEMBERSHIP INFORMATION page. If you have any questions, please let me know. Otherwise, we invite you to introduce yourself in the Meet and Greet section of our forum! Have fun getting to know YALITCHAT.ORG, and our various groups! Our Group Coordinators and community leaders are always here to help if you need it.
Again, welcome!
Please feel free to start making friends. You can start by sending me a friend request if you like!
Sincerely,
Nicole Olea
YALITCHAT.ORG Membership Ambassador & #YALITCHAT Schedule Manager
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