"Sounds like a really neat story. I think your query is way too long, though. Let’s work on tightening it a bit. Here are the points that seem to be important.
1. Katie wins an interview with hot celeb
2. He bags the interview and then changes…"
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"I think you've got a nice, interactive start here at the beginning. It was me curious about a celebrity interview and why it's so important.
It was a little hard to follow the several different characters at first b/c there are a lot &…"
"I don't think you need the prelude. You want your first pages to engage from the very start. Your chapter one did that for me.
Some things to fix.
- you didn't give any description of the characters in your conversation."
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As for me, I am an…"
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