"Hi, Gareth,
JASON WILLOW sounds like a compelling story! I think your query could be equally compelling if you could show us more of the plot instead of describing the action. Who are the Watch? Are they good guys? The demon-summoning Brethren…"
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Patricia Blount
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- Farmingville, NY
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Submissions Mailbox
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Latest Activity
Patricia Blount replied to Gareth Craig Mottram's discussion Jason Willow - Y/A Paranormal Action in the group Query Kick-AroundPatricia Blount replied to Dina von Lowenkraft's discussion QUERY Imperium YA Sci-Fi in the group Query Kick-Around"Hi, Dina,
Wow, great concept! I have some questions... first, Xor is currently a cyborg and later wakes human? If yes, this is "born" the right word for your opening sentence? Perhaps "Created to become Imperium ruler..."…"
Patricia Blount posted a status"Hello, everyone! I've missed YALitChat - I finally have time to take a breath. Wanted to thank you for supporting SEND!"
Patricia Blount posted a status"It's official! SEND is now available at Barnes & Noble. (Amazon is not shipping until 8/1, though.) So excited! Hope you'll check it out."
Patricia Blount posted a status"Hi, everyone; I've been absent for awhile, working on deadlines and dealing with the death of my mom. Things are calm again, so I'm back!"
Patricia Blount replied to Nicōle Olea's discussion Outlining in the group Craft Masters"I'm a dedicated outliner and I suspect that's a preference born of my day job as a technical writer. I finished my NaNoWriMo project without outlining and it now reads like a bad teen soap from the WB network.
I use a 3 panel…"
Patricia Blount joined Georgia McBride's group
Agent Mailbox
Premium Members: Submit your query and first 500 words to agents and editors who have chosen to accept submissions from #yalitchat members.See More
StaffNicōle Olea replied to Patricia Blount's discussion 'SEND' finished 6th in Writer's Digest Competition in the group Query Kick-Around
"Wonderful! Congratulations on your achievement!"
Beverly Stowe McClure replied to Patricia Blount's discussion 'SEND' finished 6th in Writer's Digest Competition in the group Query Kick-Around"How exciting. Congratulations, Patty."
StaffGeorgia McBride replied to Patricia Blount's discussion Would this be plagiarism? in the group Query Kick-Around
"Thanks for asking, Patricia. I can say for sure there are tons of similar stories and very few new ideas under the sun. You'd be surprised how may authors write strangely similar things without knowing anything of the other's. You were…"
Mary Jo Campbell replied to Patricia Blount's discussion 'SEND' finished 6th in Writer's Digest Competition in the group Query Kick-Around"Woot! Woot! What a stellar week for our Query Kickers!"
StaffNicōle Olea replied to Patricia Blount's discussion Would this be plagiarism? in the group Query Kick-Around
"I agree w/ the others and if you are participating in NaNo stop by the forum and add your author's page link so we can all "buddy" you."
Profile Information
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- http://patriciablount.wordpress.com
- Kind of books I write
- Contemporary, Romance
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Comment Wall (8 comments)
- At 5:11pm on November 29, 2012,
StaffLaura Chesterson said… I hope your birthday was wonderful! :-)
- At 12:08am on November 12, 2012,
StaffLaura Chesterson said… To Patricia
From Laura and YALitChat!
- At 12:05am on November 12, 2011,
StaffLaura Chesterson said… To Patty
From Laura and YALitChat!!
- At 11:07am on November 11, 2011,
StaffNicōle Olea said… 
- At 11:44am on November 30, 2010,
Douglas Trueman said… - I wouldn't worry about the passive voice. I think leaving "Julie's brother" to the very end pulls the rug out from under the reader, which is what you're going for. One of the rules I adhere to in writing is "break any writing rule if it serves your purpose", which in this case, I think it does. I don't think an agent would read your query and say, "Hmm, passive voice. No sale."
Of course, I'm new at this and could be completely wrong. But those are my two cents. (1.5 cents Canadian). ;)
- At 11:31am on November 30, 2010, Douglas Trueman said…
- I like your query. The only thing I would change would be the sentence in the middle to:
Unless -
Unless the victim of Dan's bullying was Julie's brother.
It'll be interesting to see how you can make a bully be sympathetic. I loathe bullies.
Doug
- At 12:50pm on November 12, 2010,
StaffGeorgia McBride said… - Happy birthday! With your split personality here at YALITCHAT.ORG didn't know which one of you to say happy birthday to.
- At 3:29pm on February 26, 2010,
Megan Curd said… - Hi Patricia! Welcome to YALitChat. Glad you joined! Please visit the Welcome New Members post in the forum and the FAQS and Rules. After that, why not check out some of our great groups? Enjoy!
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