"I think this is a very solid query. I agree with Kim about moving the last sentence of the first paragraph to the beginning of the second paragraph. Or you could just cut that sentence out completely since you go on to explain who Lucas is and how…"
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Michelle Levy
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Michelle Levy replied to Caryn DeVincenti's discussion QUERY: The Other Side of Happy in the group Query Kick-AroundMichelle Levy replied to Kym Balthazar Fetsko's discussion THE RAT CHILDREN (Revised) in the group Query Kick-Around"I LIKE THIS VERSION BETTER! JUST TIGHTEN IT UP A BIT. WELL DONE.
Lured by the Rat Catcher’s unforgettable song, ten-year-old Milo Schumacher finds he’s HIMSELF trapped in HAUNTING, MYSTICAL Lully Manor, a haunting, mystical place. …"
Michelle Levy replied to Cate Hart's discussion Query : Bad Company(Revised) in the group Query Kick-Around"I agree with Alisha. I, too, was a bit overwhelmed by all the information. And I love the suggestions she offered, especially because it gets us right to Scarlett. The only suggestion I don't agree with Alisha on is the cutting of…"
Michelle Levy replied to Ashley Walker's discussion TIGER DAUGHTER by Ashley Walker in the group Query Kick-Around"I agree with all of Alisha's suggestions. I was confused by the whole urban fantasy of it all as well. I think, even with the duel human/liger POVs(AWESOME, by the way!), it's MG adventure. Otherwise, I think you have a very strong query…"
Michelle Levy replied to Melissa Shaw-Smith's discussion GIRL IN A BUBBLE, Revised in the group Query Kick-Around"Sixteen-year-old Saraswati Silverman's severe allergies have kept her trapped in a super-sanitized environment for most of her childhood. All she wants to do is play her guitar, find a boyfriend, and get a life. She’s especially sick…"
Michelle Levy replied to Kym Balthazar Fetsko's discussion Query ~ THE RAT CHILDREN in the group Query Kick-Around"Oooh! Intriguing! My suggestions are in bold. I hope you find them helpful!
On a bright summer day in 1284, a mysterious man known only as the Rat Catcher led one hundred thirty children into a mountain. This is the story of what happened…"
Michelle Levy commented on AE Rought's group Query Kick-Around"Is there a fight card going this week? I'd love to get in the ring."
Michelle Levy replied to Michelle Levy's discussion I Died on a Tuesday by Michelle Levy in the group First Pages (Crit Group)"Thanks so much Sarah! Lots of great suggestions! And I totally agree about the actions to show her anxiety. Off to work in some nail biting! And to take out some similes ans almosts."
Michelle Levy replied to Michelle Levy's discussion I Died on a Tuesday by Michelle Levy in the group First Pages (Crit Group)"Thanks, Sarah."
Carolyn Chambers Clark replied to Michelle Levy's discussion I Died on a Tuesday by Michelle Levy in the group First Pages (Crit Group)"Consider starting with: I try to remember getting on the bus. IMO, the jolting doesn't tell me enough about the MC to like her or read on...The fact she's amnesiac hooks me much better.
Wouldn't the driver tell the kid to put out the…"
Michelle Levy replied to Michelle Levy's discussion I Died on a Tuesday by Michelle Levy in the group First Pages (Crit Group)"Thank you so much Bonnie! I have been kind of wondering about the urgency myself. Time to go back and see if I can up it even more."
Alisha Marie Klapheke replied to Michelle Levy's discussion I Died on a Tuesday by Michelle Levy in the group First Pages (Crit Group)"Michelle,
Thanks for sharing your first five. This definitely has me intrigued. Especially the whole last name and then Tuesday thing. That's original.
I think you should move the description of the type of bus (Greyhound, etc.) to the end of…"
Michelle Levy replied to Michelle Levy's discussion I Died on a Tuesday by Michelle Levy in the group First Pages (Crit Group)"Cecilia-
Thank you so much! Those darn little mistakes are just killing me! Nice looking out!"
Michelle Levy replied to Michelle Levy's discussion I Died on a Tuesday by Michelle Levy in the group First Pages (Crit Group)"Jessie -
Thank you so much for your feedback! I was starting to feel like my MS was so bad that no one wanted to critique it. :-(
I seriously have read this a million times and didn't catch those little mistakes. I even printed the whole darn…"
Profile Information
- Website Address
- http://operapug.blogspot.com/
- Kind of books I write
- Paranormal, Urban Fantasy
Comment Wall (7 comments)
- At 12:39am on January 19, 2013,
StaffLaura Chesterson said… To Michelle
From Laura and YALitChat!!
- At 3:14am on January 19, 2012,
StaffLaura Chesterson said… To Michelle
From Laura and YALitChat!
- At 4:17pm on April 13, 2011,
Amber Skye Forbes said… - Critted your letter, so make sure to check that out. You're still on page 1, so you don't have to worry about searching through anything.
- At 10:07pm on March 29, 2011,
Lisa Collicutt said… Ah the query, double dread!
- At 8:01pm on March 29, 2011,
StaffNicōle Olea said… 
Welcome to YALITCHAT.ORG! We’re happy you’re here and know you must be eager to get started. We’ve prepared a NEW MEMBERS WELCOME PAGE just for you--please be sure to visit there first to help acclimate you to the site, community and content. You will also find links to FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS, ABOUT US, COMMUNITY RULES and MEMBERSHIP INFORMATION helpful. As YALITCHAT.ORG operates on a tiered membership structure some of our services and groups are available to those who have a TIER II level membership. For more information, please visit the MEMBERSHIP INFORMATION page. If you have any questions, please let me know. Otherwise, we invite you to introduce yourself in the Meet and Greet section of our forum! Have fun getting to know YALITCHAT.ORG, our various groups! Our Group Coordinators and community leaders are always here to help if you need it. Again, welcome!
Sincerely,
Nicole Olea
YALITCHAT.ORG Membership Ambassador
Please feel free to start making friends. You can start by sending me a friend request if you like!
- At 7:23pm on March 28, 2011,
Adrienne Gelbart said… I get it Michelle, been there done that! Jump in to some groups that interest you and you'll get a warm welcome, promise!
You can email me if you need anything, Nicole, our Members Ambassador will be in touch soon.
- At 6:55pm on March 28, 2011, Adrienne Gelbart said…
- Welcome to YaLitChat Michelle!
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