"GIRL IN A BUBBLE is a contemporary YA novel complete at 88,000 words.***After reading through the plot below, this seems like a very high word count. You might want to think about editing it back.
Sixteen-year-old Saraswati Silverman's severe…"
I really enjoyed reading your opening pages. Your descriptions are vivid, the setting unusual, and Mei's voice captured my attention right away.
My big question is, are you starting your novel in the right place? The first chapter, from…"
Thanks so much for taking a look. Lots of great advice--the bit about bringing in the parents again has, I hope, helped me to add a much needed sentence.
At school, Sara’s soon drawn to Oliver Ziem, the music teacher and former lead…"
"Sixteen-year-old Saraswati Silverman's severe allergies have kept her trapped in a super-sanitized environment for most of her childhood. All she wants to do is play her guitar, find a boyfriend, and get a life. She’s especially sick…"
I enjoyed reading this. Kim gave you some great feedback. I hope that my comments and questions will be helpful as well.
Sixteen-year-old Saraswati Silverman's severe allergies have kept her trapped in a super-sanitized…"
Love the premise of this book and would have picked up any attached ms to read with query as is.
That said, I agree with all the excellent comments from Sarah, Kim and Alisha, particularly with reference to the "Fantasy" tag. I…"
"At school, Sara’s soon drawn to Oliver Ziem, the music teacher and former lead singer of one of her favorite bands, and his unofficial student fan club. While impressing her new friends with her guitar skills, she suffers a life-threatening…"
Thanks so much. You've been a great help. I've nixed the 2nd and 3rd paras, rewritten a single one, & taken your advice about a strong final either/or line:
At school, Sara’s soon drawn to Oliver Ziem, the music teacher and…"
"GIRL IN A BUBBLE is a contemporary YA novel complete at 88,000 words. Literary Agent Janet Ried (who runs Query Shark) recommends putting this at the bottom with your bio. Unless you are a particular reasoning for querying an agent (you met…"
Thanks for the response. I wrote years ago--HS & journaling--just for fun, but birthing four kids, taking care of a house, husband, and the dog took precedence. Two years ago, when I was sure my brains had completely seeped out my ears, my husband encouraged me to join a writer's group. And here I am.
My first attempt at writing YA was way over word count-180,000, but I've learned a lot since then. I've put that one away to revisit later, make into two books. I have a completed YA fantasy romance that definitely crosses over to adult; it's 100,000 but cutting anymore takes away from the complexity of the story. I've considered breaking it in two, but it flows so nicely now. Much more concise than my first one. Anyway, I've been working on that sequel and I think I'm going to pick my MG series I'd started about 8 months ago.
I'd love to swap material, see if we're compatible. I'm also interested in picking your brain about picture books. I'm not so much interested in those, but in illustrated books for maybe K & 1st graders. I don't have a clue how to write one let alone submit one, but I have a great idea that I've written a synopsis for and a short query. My younger kids can't wait for me to write it, but I want to know how to format it first.
We can chat more before swapping material, or I can email you, maybe my first five pages? Let me know.
obviously you don't know me from a hole in the ground, but I was reading a few comments and noticed you'd offered to swap your ms with someone. I'm totally new to blogging--two weeks to be exact--but I've been exchanging material with another writer for over six months now, and we're looking to expand. If it would be something you or anyone you know might be interested in, check out my blog. There's a link to a private critique group we've set up down the right side: http://writersally.blogspot.com
Seriously, this is so far out of my comfort zone. I must have had something to drink first, seeing how I'm all out of Hotheads. :)
An annual (automatically renewed) fee is REQUIRED for Premium Member accessto groups like: Submissions Mailbox, Query Kick-Around, Synopsis Repair Shop, Agent Insider II, Promotion Junction and Teen and Tween Research Info.