"I apologize for not getting back to each of you sooner. For some reason, I'm not getting email notifications of responses. Thank you all for your feedback, I will begin implementing your suggestions immediately.
I did get your response,…"
"I'll jump in with some [hopefully] helpful thoughts.
Trip up moments:
- The first thing I notice is a lot of proper names--seven or so?
- There are pieces here which, while important for the world building and perhaps motivation,…"
I like your synopsis, but I find myself confused about Damien and about the relationship between the mage and the defenders of the Liln. For example:
Par. 1: "An encounter with new student, DAMIEN CONROY"…"
You've done a great job laying out the conflict and main story line, though I don't understand why Teagan is the MC. Other than being the best of friend of the murderer, how is she involved? You don't really talk about what…"
Overall, this is a very good synopsis. You made the plot very clear, and your writing technique is good. Although people around Teagan are dying, it's never clear she's in any danger, so I don't really feel any urgent…"
"No Sandy here. I live in Thunder Bay, smack dab in the middle of Canada. Although a community not that far away had record rainfall causing flooding, we've been lucky so far. I missed the date because I'm an airhead. I'm madly getting…"
I wrote a response to your first pages and then discovered the discussion is closed. Here it is anyway if you're interested.
Feedback for Marianne Love
Great first sentence. Great scene and set up for…"
"I agree that some of the writing seems a little clumsy in these first five. The first few paragraphs especially have too much unnecessary info and character description. That said, the further I read the more interested I was in the story. If there…"
Synopsis in serious need of repair? Wondering what goes here or there? Short synopsis repair is here. 1-2 pages, we don't care. Any longer though, you must look elsewhere. Group Coordinator is LM Prestion.See More
No Sandy here. I live in Thunder Bay, smack dab in the middle of Canada. Although a community not that far away had record rainfall causing flooding, we've been lucky so far. I missed the date because I'm an airhead. I'm madly getting ready for NaNoWriMo, andtaking an online course, and lost track of stuff.
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