"To Katy From Laura and YALitChat!!"

"To Katy From Laura and YALitChat!"

"Thanks for the great advice! You're definitely right about the cliches... they've got to go! The story is told from the POV of both characters. Oringinally it was just Mason's POV, but I've decided that Faith deserves a say,…"

"Wow, Jessie! This is some really great feedback! I think extracting some of the stuff about their emotions will help to trim it down a bit, too. Looking forward to revising AGAIN! "

"It seems that the real hook is , Faith's abusive ex-boyfriend Evan is back and harassing her. Having her late to dinner doesn't really grab my interest. I'd pull that abusive ex part into the first sentence ,then I'd go to the…"

"Hi Katy- sounds like a powerful, moving story. Love that it leaves off hopeful but not with a neatly tied bow. You're right on the convention of capitalizing names the first time they're used in the synopsis. I might start off just by…"

"First off, I'm confused as to why their names are capitalized. I haven't seen that around before. Other than that - wow! This is a great improvement."

"Okay, here’s what my thoughts are, jotted down randomly as I read… -First thing I noticed: there should only be one space after periods (or exclamation marks and question marks). -I really like the last sentence of the first paragraph,…"

"Wow! Thanks for your incredibly helpful input, Georgia! I knew there was a disconnect, especially at the beginning, but it’s so hard to know where a reader might get confused because everything is so clear in MY head. Your advice about keeping…"