"Name: Connie Michael
Catagory: Young Adult
Genre: Urban Fantasy
When her best friend turns up dead, Emma knows Luke, the bad boy from her group home, did it. In an attempt to escape Luke’s violence, Emma is pulled into a…"
"Name: Connie Michael
Catagory: New Adult
At nineteen, prodigy Emme Sawyer dreams of being a doctor and the Navy seems happy to help, deploying her to Afghanistan as a Hospital Corpsman. But with the front lines…"
"Be careful if you put background information in this chapter. It's a major faux pas to put backstory or info dump in your first 50 pages. Completely ruins it for the reader. What you do is decide what absolutely positively must be told for the…"
"Hi, I am trying to pull together a critique group for my manuscript. I have a YA magical realism that is pending publication and I need help with transitions and the flow of the story. WOuld love to swap with you. email me if you…"
"You had me at Doogie Houser re-do. But no seriously I loved the prose and the world setting, it was just the right amounts of doctorial sterile-ness and a human being that cares about the broken person in front of her. I will agree with the…"
Open with a compelling hook, then put the first sentence you have here at the bottom.
Let My Life Be Proof (use italics instead of underling)is a 52,000 word Contemporary Fiction YA novel. (you don't…"
"Connie, thanks so much for accepting my request, and thanks again for your generous comments on the first 5 pages of my MS. Your suggestions were spot on, so much so that I've been happily chugging away with revisions. All the best,…"
"I liked the changes you made at the beginning, but I think you can even be more concise and take out "without his last breaths". I also think that the last line in the first paragraph seems a but contrived and think you would do…"
Carolyn already has some great feedback so I just have few things to add.
I stood with two dozen other doctors waiting to see what lay ahead.
Are you sure about this? 2 dozen seems like a large number of doctors in a field…"
"Cute idea! And the war stuff is very popular now.
Caution: I sent a YA with a girl who was 18 and in her first year in college and an agent said, "This is not YA, she's not in high school!" But this was just one person's…"
Connie, thanks so much for accepting my request, and thanks again for your generous comments on the first 5 pages of my MS. Your suggestions were spot on, so much so that I've been happily chugging away with revisions. All the best, Helene
What a sweet comment about your own query. Of course you know what your story is about and you are not the first one not to be able to express it on the first try. Let Me See. I do believe I've a few difficulties in that area. Congratulations on sticking with the task. I'm sure you'll make it, especially with that attitude.
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