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"Haha. I know what you mean Amber. I was really unsure of this scene a long time ago when it was in an earlier draft, so I took it out. Just thought I'd see what people thought. I have actually been retooling the other scene, but am on vacation…"
"I honestly feel like that you've tried so hard to have humor that when I read it, the humor seems forced. I know Georgia said to add some humor to the beginning, but I'm sort of wondering if you can add humor to the first 250 you already…"
I'm new to the group. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to comment on your scene.
**Please remember that any suggestions are meant to be helpful. Use what you like and disregard the rest.**
“So giving birth is apparently…"
Apparently my first 250 aren't quite funny....so I was hoping you all could take a look at this and tell me if if makes you laugh. It's from an alternate opening of days ago but wasn't sure the first line was exactly appropriate...lol. “So giving birth is apparently like having a chain saw shoved up your vagina,” Caroline casually announces. I drop the fork full of rubbery meat and slimy lettuce I was about to put in my mouth and gape at her. “I’m sorry, what?” “You know my mom’s friend Sherry…See More
Problematic scene? Scene just not shaping up the way you want it to? Fight scene not as kick-ass as it should be? How 'bout that kissing scene? Lost its sizzle? Let us pimp your scene! Three page maximum please! Group Coordinator: LM Preston
"I've only made a few changes, and for some reason the add discussion thing is hating on me. So I'll just post my revisions here. Please lemme know what you guys think!
Every teenage girl in the world dream of Grant West, teen…"
I remeber reading your previous posts. The other posts suggestions I agree with. Why does Sdney not know about Grant if he's so famous? Maybe start with :Friday night sentence? You get he's a star when reporter's show up at…"
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