"INTERESTING CAST AND PLOT. I JUST THINK YOU NEED TO MAKE A FEW THINGS CLEARER. HOPE MY COMMENTS HELP YOU DO THAT.
Seventeen-year-old Sonia Jacobs’ father was the geneticist who discovered an extraterrestrial gene [THIS NEEDS TO BE…"
Most of this made sense to me and was easy to follow. Watch repeated words (like "finds" and "discovers") and words that seem too old-fashioned for YA (and your characters).
Repeated words are…"
Sarah and LM have taken a lot of time to give you some excellent advice at both the micro and macro levels. Like Stephanie, I'm going to wait until you revise this before I respond. I look forward to more completely hooked…"
"Hello Alexis! I'm happy to help: Overall you want your synopsis to read a bit like a short story of the book and there can be a little voice in it to make it flow better. It should hook the reader in from the beginning and suck them end until…"
I've left some notes in the text. Good luck with the submission box!
Seventeen-year-old Sonia Jacobs’ father was the geneticist who discovered an extraterrestrial [after reading this, I was confused by extraterrestrial. This…"
Synopsis in serious need of repair? Wondering what goes here or there? Short synopsis repair is here. 1-2 pages, we don't care. Any longer though, you must look elsewhere. Group Coordinator is LM Prestion.See More
Query need work? Hankering for a second (or third, or fourth, et al) opinion on it? Well, you've come to the right place! Once a week, we'll post a query, offer opinions and discuss ways to improve it. Queries accepted from Premium members ONLY.See More
"NATURAL SELECTION by Alexis Wynn
After recovering from the disappearance of her father and sister, 17-year-old Sonia only wants to pick up where she left off a year ago at her NYC prep school. When she learns that her father discovered an…"
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