Synopsis for THE GENETICIST’S DAUGHTER

[Alexis Wynn]

Hello!

Almost ready for the submission box, but my synopsis needs some help...not easy to write. I'd really appreciate any feedback or suggestions on how to improve. Thanks!!

Best,

Alexis

Seventeen-year-old Sonia Jacobs’ father was the geneticist who discovered an extraterrestrial gene in his two daughters. This discovery cost him his life and triggered a covert operation of genetic experimentation.

 

Sonia’s last memory of her sister and father was at her father’s research lab the night they inexplicably disappeared. After months of recovery, an anxious and withdrawn Sonia returns to her NYC prep school with fears that she will be the center of gossip. However, she is resolved to make the best of a new school year.

 

She meets an outgoing, yet slightly annoying, and boy-crazy junior named Bea who invites her to a “back-to-school” party. At this party she meets the attractive and charming, Dean Elliot, who is also repeating his junior year after, according to gossip, a year at rehab. She finds a confidant in Dean.

 

When Sonia receives a mysterious letter of instruction, she goes to her father’s former research lab to uncover the reason for his disappearance. She hides in the lab’s storage closet when Dean Elliot unexpectedly shows up, immediately followed by two mystery men. A confrontation breaks out between the two men and Dean. Dean is attacked, being maliciously beaten. An inexplicable, supernatural event, involving a blinding flash of blue light, allows her and Dean to escape unharmed.

 

While visiting her mother at a psychiatric hospital, Sonia meets Sadie, a schizophrenic patient who claims that she was compelled to send Sonia the letter after hearing voices that told her to do so. Later, Sonia realizes that the letter and Sadie’s story were traps to lure her into the grasp of a group of corrupted geneticists who have learned that Sonia carries a rare extraterrestrial gene.

 

After sedating and experimenting on her, she wakes up to find that she has super human strength, agility and senses. In a state of panic, she is able to overcome her kidnappers and escapes using her newfound abilities. She discovers she has been branded with a mark similar to one she saw earlier on Dean. She searches for him, hoping to find an explanation.

 

Dean too carries the gene and had a similar experience. He explains that Sonia’s father discovered the gene and how to manipulate it. However, his research investors wish to exploit the discovery and killed Sonia’s father when he refused to cooperate after stealing his research. Sonia and her sister were meant to be the first experimental specimens. But Sonia managed to escape (though with no memory as to how) while her sister died in the process.

 

Dean has devoted his life to trying to stop the experiments and exploitation by this unknown group of geneticists and inventors. He has gathered a small group of young adults with similar experiences to his and Sonia’s who are lead by the powerful human-alien hybrid, Gabriel.  

 

After becoming accustomed to her new physical changes and finding a new set of friends in Dean and the others, Sonia begins to fall for Dean, but is afraid he does not feel the same for her. However, a relationship between the two does in fact ensue that is beyond expectation.

  

Sonia meets Dean’s father who is a rich financial consultant. She becomes close to Mr. Elliot in an attempt to repair the father-son broken relationship. But she later discovers that Mr. Elliot was her father’s patron, her father’s murderer and the leader of the team of geneticists that want to exploit her father’s discoveries. Mr. Elliot wanted to develop a relationship with her and eventually abduct her to manipulate his son.

 

Mr. Elliot captures both Sonia and Dean and holds them hostage at the headquarters of his covet operation. He uses a device called a Microbe to disable their abilities. While Mr. Elliot tortures Sonia, Dean becomes enraged and destroys the Microbe allowing an escape attempt, which only fails. Dean then discovers a new ability that allows him to create a wormhole in space through which his team arrives and saves Dean and Sonia.

[Sarah Negovetich]

Alexis,

I've left some notes in the text. Good luck with the submission box!

Seventeen-year-old Sonia Jacobs’ father was the geneticist who discovered an extraterrestrial [after reading this, I was confused by extraterrestrial. This makes me think that one of Sonia's parents is an alien, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Is the gene really extraterrestrial or just mutated? I'd like to get a short, maybe one line, explanation of where this gene comes from]gene in his two daughters. This discovery cost him his life and triggered a covert operation of genetic experimentation.

 

Sonia’s last memory of her sister and father was at her father’s research lab the night they inexplicably disappeared. After months of recovery, an anxious and withdrawn Sonia returns to her NYC prep school with fears that she will be the center of gossip. However, she is resolved to make the best of a new school year.

 

She meets an outgoing, yet slightly annoying, and boy-crazy junior named Bea[this is Bea's only appearance in the synopsis making me think she's not a very important character. I would cut her out of this or give us more of her character later] who invites her to a “back-to-school” party. At this party she meets the attractive and charming, Dean Elliot, who is also repeating his junior year after, according to gossip, a year at rehab. She finds a confidant in Dean.

 

When Sonia receives a mysterious letter of instruction, she goes to her father’s former research lab to uncover the reason for his disappearance. She hides in the lab’s storage closet when Dean Elliot unexpectedly shows up, immediately followed by two mystery men. A confrontation breaks out between the two men and Dean. Dean is attacked, being maliciously beaten. [These 2 sentences read a bit awkward, you might say "A confrontation breaks out and Dean is attacked and maliciously beaten. Also, be careful of using too many adverbs in the synopsis] An inexplicable, supernatural event, involving a blinding flash of blue light, allows her and Dean to escape unharmed. [if this is eventually explained in the story, then it really should be explained here. Everything I've read says don't be vague or coy in the synopsis.]

 

While visiting her mother at a psychiatric hospital, [This kind of comes out of nowhere. Sonia's mom and Sadie feel like a vehicle to further the plot instead of actual characters] Sonia meets Sadie, a schizophrenic patient who claims that she was compelled to send Sonia the letter after hearing voices that told her to do so. Later, Sonia realizes that the letter and Sadie’s story were traps to lure her into the grasp of a group of corrupted geneticists who have learned that Sonia carries a rare extraterrestrial gene.

 

After sedating and experimenting on her, [Whoa, I complete missed her being taken. In the last paragraph we learn about a trap, but not if she was taken or managed to escape.]she wakes up to find that she has super human strength, agility and senses. In a state of panic, she is able to overcome her kidnappers and escapes using her newfound abilities. She discovers she has been branded with a mark similar to one she saw earlier on Dean. She searches for him, hoping to find an explanation. [We are quite a ways into the synopsis and I feel like this is probably the catalyst event that drives the story. So I'm assuming this happens in the first quarter of the book (if not just ignore this). If this is the case, then I think we've got too much info in the first half of this synopsis and not enough drive in the rest.]

 

Dean too carries the gene and had a similar experience. He explains that Sonia’s father discovered the gene and how to manipulate it. However, his research investors wish to exploit the discovery and killed Sonia’s father when he refused to cooperate after stealing his research. Sonia and her sister were meant to be the first experimental specimens. But Sonia managed to escape (though with no memory as to how) while her sister died in the process. [this entire paragraph is back story. I feel like we already learned most of this. the only new info was that Dean also has the gene. I would consider cutting out the rest. If an agent sees this much back story in the synopsis, they may be concerned that there is too much in your novel]

 

Dean has devoted his life [at 17 no one has devoted their entire life. This makes him sound 60.]to trying to stop the experiments and exploitation by this unknown group of geneticists and inventors. He has gathered a small group of young adults with similar experiences to his and Sonia’s who are lead by the powerful human-alien hybrid, Gabriel.  [Aha, and now I feel like this is what the novel is about. Sonia finds people like her and now she has to really figure out who she is, while being hunted at the same time. if this is the core plot of the novel, it deserves more leg room.]

 

After becoming accustomed to her new physical changes and finding a new set of friends in Dean and the others, Sonia begins to fall for Dean, but is afraid he does not feel the same for her. However, a relationship between the two does in fact ensue that is beyond expectation.[this is another place where being so vague is not going to work in a synopsis. (great line for a query or tag line though). how is their relationship beyond expectation. You need to tell us here]

  

Sonia meets Dean’s father who is a rich financial consultant. She becomes close to Mr. Elliot in an attempt to repair the father-son broken relationship. [This is super late in the synopsis to introduce another sub-plot. This needs to come earlier or be cut. Honestly, I would suggest keeping your synopsis to the main plot and maybe one crucial subplot. In this case, your main plot is the dangerous group out to capture Sonia and the sub-plot is her relationship with Dean]But she later discovers that Mr. Elliot was her father’s patron, her father’s murderer and the leader of the team of geneticists that want to exploit her father’s discoveries. [This is a pretty big discovery. How does she learn this? This sounds like a crucial turning point in the story so I think one line here about how this happens could help] Mr. Elliot wanted to develop a relationship with her and eventually abduct her to manipulate his son.[I would cut out his motivations. We know he wants to exploit the gene and that's enough]

 

Mr. Elliot captures both Sonia and Dean and holds them hostage at the headquarters of his covet[covert, and that's the second time you've used that word. They are pretty far apart, but it's not a common word so you might consider changing one up] operation. He uses a device called a Microbe to disable their abilities. While Mr. Elliot tortures Sonia, Dean becomes enraged and destroys the Microbe allowing an escape attempt, which only fails. Dean then discovers a new ability that allows him to create a wormhole in space through which his team arrives and saves Dean and Sonia. [This feels a lot like a "and then he woke up and realized it was all a bad dream" kind of ending. I get the feeling that this is leading into a sequel, which is fine, but we don't really have a resolution to this story]

In general, from this synopsis, I don't have a feel for what the core plot of the novel is. What is Sonia's goal and what is preventing her from getting it. From what you have, it feels like the only thing happening here is Sonia and Dean getting kidnapped and escaping over and over again. I'm sure you have tons more to the story, so give us some of that. Also, Dean's friends seem more important than you've indicated by the amount of time dedicated to them. I would go back and try to structure your synopsis with the same pacing in your book. If Sonia learns about her powers by the third chapter, then you can't wait until halfway through the synopsis to tell us about it. You're never going to fit everything into a synopsis (especially when you have to start trimming to one page) so just focus on the most important stuff and go from there.  Good luck!

[LM Preston]

Hello Alexis! I'm happy to help: Overall you want your synopsis to read a bit like a short story of the book and there can be a little voice in it to make it flow better. It should hook the reader in from the beginning and suck them end until the end. Some areas you can fix is to bring the POV closer in, take out overused words and passive voice. Capitalize Names of characters when they are first introduced.

Seventeen-year-old Sonia Jacobs’ (Capitalize Name the first time) father was the geneticist who discovered an extraterrestrial gene in his two daughters. This discovery cost him his life and triggered a covert operation of genetic experimentation. *Could use a stronger hook* Also, seems rather distant from the POV of the main character. You may want to start with her issue/problem then explain it.

 

Sonia’s last memory of her sister and father family was at her father’s research lab the night they inexplicably disappeared. After months of recovery, an anxious and withdrawn Sonia returns to her NYC prep school with fears that she will be the center of gossip. However, she is resolved to make the best of a new school year.*hook needed*

 

She meets an outgoing, yet slightly annoying, and boy-crazy junior named Bea who invites her to a “back-to-school” party. At this party Where she meets the attractive and charming, Dean Elliot, who is also repeating his junior year after, according to gossip, a year at rehab. She finds a confidant in Dean. *hook needed*

 

When Sonia receives a mysterious letter of instruction, she and goes to her father’s former research lab to uncover the reason for his disappearance. She hides in the lab’s storage closet when Dean Elliot unexpectedly shows up, immediately followed by two mystery men. A confrontation breaks out between the two men and Dean. Dean is attacked, being maliciously beaten by the two men. An inexplicable, supernatural event, involving a blinding flash of blue light, allows her and Dean to escape unharmed. *hook*

 

While visiting her mother at a psychiatric hospital, Sonia meets Sadie, a schizophrenic patient who claims that she was compelled to send Sonia the letter after hearing voices that told her to do so. Later, Sonia realizes that the letter and Sadie’s story were traps to lure her into the grasp of a group of corrupted geneticists who have learned that Sonia carries a rare extraterrestrial gene.

 

After sedating and experimenting on her (who does this?), she wakes up to find that she has super human strength, agility and senses. In a state of panic, she is able to overcome her kidnappers and escapes using her newfound abilities. She discovers she has been branded with a mark similar to one she saw earlier on Dean. She searches for him, hoping to find an explanation. *The sentence flow is off on this paragraph organization had me re-reading. Also a hook is needed*

 

Dean too carries (reword this) the gene and had a similar experience. He explains that Sonia’s father discovered the gene and how to manipulate it. However, his research investors wish to exploit the discovery and killed Sonia’s father when he refused to cooperate after stealing his research. Sonia and her sister were meant to be the first experimental specimens. But Sonia managed to escape (though with no memory as to how) while her sister died in the process. *hook*

 

Dean has devoted his life to trying to stop the experiments and exploitation by this unknown group of geneticists and inventors. He has gathered a small group of young adults with similar experiences to his and Sonia’s who are lead by the powerful human-alien hybrid, Gabriel.  *Remember to capitalize names of new characters - also, only mention names of main characters when possible to keep the synopsis closely tied to the main plot/characters*

 

After becoming accustomed to her new physical changes and finding a new set of friends in Dean and the others, Sonia begins to fall for Dean, but is afraid he does not feel the same for her. However, a relationship between the two does in fact ensue that is beyond expectation.*need hook*

  

Sonia meets Dean’s father who is a rich financial consultant. She becomes close to Mr. Elliot in an attempt to repair the father-son broken relationship. But she later discovers that Mr. Elliot was her father’s patron, her father’s murderer and the leader of the team of geneticists that want to exploit her father’s discoveries. Mr. Elliot wanted to develop a relationship with her and eventually abduct her to manipulate his son.

 

Mr. Elliot captures both Sonia and Dean and holds them hostage at the headquarters of his covet operation. He uses a device called a Microbe to disable their abilities. While Mr. Elliot tortures Sonia, Dean becomes enraged and destroys the Microbe allowing an escape attempt, which only fails. Dean then discovers a new ability that allows him to create a wormhole in space through which his team arrives and saves Dean and Sonia. *good conclusion*

[Stephanie Wardrop]

Alexis -- you have some great advice here which I owuld only echo, so I'm going to wait for a revision to comment.  This sounds like a real thriller of a story!

[s.d. Lishan]

HI, Alexis,

 

Sarah and LM have taken a lot of time to give you some excellent advice at both the micro and macro levels. Like Stephanie, I'm going to wait until you revise this before I respond. I look forward to more completely hooked into this interesting story.

 

All best,

 

S.D.

[Laura Chesterson]

Hi Alexis!

Most of this made sense to me and was easy to follow. Watch repeated words (like "finds" and "discovers") and words that seem too old-fashioned for YA (and your characters). I suggest dropping the entire first para because it sounds like a narrator and not the character. It also confuses the fact of whether Dad and Sis are dead or have simply disappeared.

Repeated words are underlined.

Seventeen-year-old Sonia Jacobs’ Jacobs's (only plural nouns like villagers' drop the last s) father was the (comma) a geneticist (comma) who discovered discovers an extraterrestrial gene in his two daughters. This discovery cost him his life and triggered a covert operation of genetic experimentation. This sounds generic and this para is in the wrong tense. Try something like: After he's murdered by a vicious organization, they are free to begin secret experiments on Sonia.

 

Sonia’s last memory of her sister and father was at her father’s research lab the night they inexplicably disappeared. Wrong tense and not clear how it's important. Try: Sonia doesn't think she'll ever get over seeing her father and sister vanish. After months of recovery, an anxious and withdrawn Sonia returns to her NYC prep school with fears that she will (comma) fearing she'll be the center of gossip. but determined However, she is resolved to make the best of a new school year.

So how come the father loses his life in the first para, but only disappears in the second para?

 

She meets an outgoing, boy-crazy, yet and slightly annoying, and boy-crazy junior named Bea who invites her to a “back-to-school” party. At this party There, she meets the attractive and charming, Dean Elliot, who is also repeating his junior year after, according to gossip, a year at rehab. She finds a confidant in Dean. "Confidant" sounds too old-fashioned. Would Sonia call him that? Better to use: makes friends or finds a sympathetic ear with Dean.

 

When Sonia receives a mysterious letter of instruction, she goes to her father’s former research lab to uncover the reason for his disappearance. She hides in the lab’s storage closet when Dean Elliot unexpectedly shows up, immediately followed by two mystery men. A confrontation breaks out between the two men and Dean. You say the same thing in the next line. Dean is attacked, being maliciously beaten. An inexplicable, supernatural event, involving a blinding flash of blue light, allows her and Dean to escape unharmed.

 

While visiting her mother at a psychiatric hospital, Sonia meets Sadie, a schizophrenic patient who claims that she was compelled to send Sonia the letter after hearing voices that told her to do so. Later, Sonia realizes that the letter and Sadie’s story were traps to lure her into the grasp of a group of corrupted geneticists who have learned that Sonia carries a rare extraterrestrial gene.

That's a big jump for Sonia to go from a patient's letter to "realize" there's an organization after her for her gene. What clue does she get?

 

After sedating and experimenting on her, she wakes up to find that she has super human strength, agility and senses. In a state of panic, she is able to overcome overcomes her kidnappers and escapes by using her newfound abilities. She discovers she has been branded with a mark similar to one she saw earlier on Dean. She searches for him, hoping to find for an explanation.

 

Dean too also carries the gene and had a similar experience. He explains that Sonia’s father discovered the gene and how to manipulate it. However, his research investors wish to exploit the discovery (comma) and killed Sonia’s father when he refused to cooperate (comma) and stole after stealing his research. Sonia and her sister were meant to be the first experimental specimens. But Sonia managed to escape (though with no memory as to how) while her sister died in the process.

So now Dad and the sister were killed, but in a beginning para, they'd just disappeared. Did Sonia not know they're dead? If your ms is in first person (or third limited), only her knowledge should be in the synopsis, so no reference to death should be before this.

 

Dean has devoted his life to trying to stop the experiments and exploitation by this unknown group of geneticists and inventors. He has gathered a small group of young adults kids (or teens) with similar experiences to his and Sonia’s who are lead led by the powerful human-alien hybrid, Gabriel.

How come Dean "gathered" the group, but they're led by someone else? Perhaps Dean "joined" the group.

 

After becoming accustomed to her new physical changes (like what?) and finding a new set of friends in Dean and the others, Sonia begins to fall for Dean, but is afraid he does not doesn't feel the same for her. However, a relationship between the two does in fact ensue that is beyond expectation. This line, especially the "does in fact ensue," sounds very adult not teen.

  

Sonia meets Dean’s father who is who's a rich financial consultant. She becomes close to Mr. Elliot in an attempt to repair the broken father-son broken relationship. But she later discovers that Mr. Elliot was her father’s patron, her father’s murderer and the leader of the team of geneticists that want to exploit her father’s discoveries. Mr. Elliot wanted to develop a relationship with her and eventually abduct her to manipulate his son. I don't think the last line is necessary. All the important info is already there.

 

Mr. Elliot captures both Sonia and Dean and holds them hostage at the headquarters of his covet operation. He uses a device called a Microbe to disable their abilities. While Mr. Elliot tortures Sonia, Dean becomes enraged and destroys the Microbe allowing an escape attempt, which only fails. Dean then discovers a new ability that allows him to create a wormhole in space through which his team arrives and saves Dean and Sonia.

[C. Lee McKenzie]

INTERESTING CAST AND PLOT. I JUST THINK YOU NEED TO MAKE A FEW THINGS CLEARER. HOPE MY COMMENTS HELP YOU DO THAT.

LEE

Seventeen-year-old Sonia Jacobs’ father was the geneticist who discovered an extraterrestrial gene [THIS NEEDS TO BE EXPLAINED SINCE IT'S NOT CLEAR WHAT ONE OF THESE IS OR WHY IT WOULD BE IN HIS DAUGHTERS. THE WHOLE STORY PIVOTS ON THIS GENE AND ITS IMPORTANCE, SO I'D MAKE IT CLEAR WHAT IT IS AND WHY EVERYONE IS OUT TO EXPLOIT IT. I'M ASSUMING IT HAS TO DO WITH THE SUPER POWERS IT BESTOWS. I'M ALSO NOT CLEAR WHY THOSE SUPER POWERS SUDDENLY APPEAR. WHAT'S THE TRIGGER? AGE? STRESS?] in his two daughters. This discovery cost him his life and triggered a covert operation of genetic experimentation. 

 

Sonia’s last memory of her sister and father was IS at her father’s research lab the night they inexplicably disappeared. After months of recovery, an anxious and withdrawn Sonia returns to her NYC prep school with fears that she will be the center of gossip. GOSSIP OR UNWELCOMED ATTENTION BECAUSE OF THE TRAGIC LOSS OF HER FATHER? However, she is resolved to make the best of a new school year. I'D RAMP THIS UP A BIT: SHE'S RESOLVED TO GET THROUGH THE SCHOOL YEAR/SHE'S DETERMINED NOT TO LET THIS TRAGEDY RUIN MORE OF HER LIFE.

 

She meets an outgoing, yet slightly annoying, and boy-crazy junior named Bea who invites her to a “back-to-school” party. GREAT CHARACTERIZATION OF BEA, BUT IS SHE CENTRAL TO THE STORY?. At this party she meets the attractive and charming, Dean Elliot, who is also SO SHE'S REPEATING THE YEAR? IS THIS IMPORTANT TO THE STORY? repeating his junior year after, according to gossip, a year at rehab. She finds a confidant in Dean.

 

When Sonia receives a mysterious letter of instruction, she goes to her father’s former research lab to uncover the reason for his disappearance. She hides in the lab’s storage closet when Dean Elliot unexpectedly shows up, ENTERS, immediately followed by two mystery men. A confrontation breaks out between WHEN the two men and ATTACK Dean. Dean is attacked, being maliciously beaten. An inexplicable, supernatural event, involving a blinding flash of blue light, allows her and Dean to escape unharmed. ALL OF THESE EVENTS ARE OBVIOUSLY "INEXPLICABLE," SO YOU DON'T NEED TO USE THAT WORD.

 

While visiting her mother at a psychiatric hospital, Sonia meets Sadie, a schizophrenic patient who claims that she was compelled to send Sonia the letter after hearing voices, TELLING that told her to do so. [GETS RID OF SECOND "THAT" CLAUSE.]Later, Sonia realizes DISCOVERS? THIS SOUNDS MORE ACTVE. that the letter and Sadie’s story were traps to lure her into the grasp of a group of corrupted geneticists. who have learned that Sonia carries a rare extraterrestrial gene. THEY WANT SONIA. THEY WANT TO XXXX. I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO SAY WHY THEY'RE OUT TO TRAP HER.

 

After THE GENETICISTS sedatE and experiment on her, she wakes up to find that she has super human strength, agility and senses. In a state of panic, PANICKED, she is STILL able to overcome SUBDUE her kidnappers and escapes ESCAPE, using her newfound abilities. She discovers she has been branded with a mark similar to one she saw earlier on Dean. She searches for him, hoping to find an explanation.

 

Dean, too, carries the gene and HAS had a similar experience. He explains that Sonia’s father discovered the gene and how to manipulate it. However, his research investors wish to exploit the discovery and killed Sonia’s father when he refused to cooperate after stealing his research. Sonia and her sister were meant to be the first experimental specimens. But Sonia managed to escape (though with no memory as to OF how).  while her sister died in the process.WHILE TRYING TO ESCAPE?

 

Dean has devoted his life to trying to stopPING the experiments and exploitation by this unknown group of geneticists and inventors. He has gathered a small group of young adults with similar experiences to his and Sonia’s who are lead by the powerful human-alien hybrid, Gabriel. ALL OF THEM HAVE DODGED THE SCIENTISTS. [NEED TO TELL WHY THEY'RE A GROUP.]

 

After becoming accustomed to her new physical changes and finding a new set of friends in Dean and the others, Sonia begins to fall for Dean HIM, but is SHE'S afraid he does not feel the same for her. However, SHE'S WRONG. THEY BEGIN a relationship between the two does in fact ensue that is beyond expectation.

  

Sonia meets Dean’s father who is a rich financial consultant. She becomes close to Mr. Elliot in an attempt to repair the father-son broken relationship. But she later discovers that Mr. Elliot was her father’s patron, her father’s murderer and the leader of the team of geneticists that wantS (MUST AGREE WITH "LEADER.") to exploit her father’s discoveries. Mr. Elliot wants to develop a relationship with her, and eventually abduct her to manipulate his son.[THIS LAST SENTENCE DOESN'T SEEM NECESSARY.]

 

Mr. Elliot captures both Sonia and Dean and holds them hostage at the headquarters of his coveRt operation. He uses a device called a Microbe to disable their abilities. While Mr. Elliot tortures Sonia, Dean becomes enraged and destroys the Microbe. DURING THE CONFUSION, SONIA AND DEAN  allowing an escape attempt TO ESCAPE, BUT FAIL., which only fails. Dean then discovers a new ability that allows him to create a wormhole in space through which his team [I'D GIVE THIS GROUP OR TEAM LEAD BY GABRIEL A NAME WHEN YOU FIRST MENTION THEM, SO IT'S CLEAR WHAT TEAM YOU'RE REFERRING TO.] arrives and saves Dean and Sonia.

[Alexis Wynn]

WOW!! You guys are absolutely amazing and I feel lucky to have a group of people like you to help me look at my work from different angles. Thank you all for the help! Now back to revising.