HURRAY FOR THE DRIVE-IN by Melissa Shaw-Smith

[Melissa Shaw-Smith]

Lucy and her family's trip to the Drive-In is a night to remember.
Age range 4 and up.
Word count 704.

[Mayra Calvani]

I look forward to reading this, Melissa. I'll try to critique it by Wednesday. I'm very busy writing my YA novel for nanowrimo.

[Melissa Shaw-Smith]

Thanks Mayra.
All the best with nanowrimo. I'm trying to shoehorn my own new YA ms into the format, but not having much success. One of these years when I don't have teenagers and toddlers to distract me, I swear I'll do it.

[Laura Chesterson]

Hi Melissa!
I took a break from NaNo-ing and took a look at your PB ms. I had a little trouble relating because I think I went to a drive-in just once in my life. I've really only seen them in movies on the TV. Your prose is excellent though. :-)

[Melissa Shaw-Smith]

Laura:

Thanks so much for taking time out of your NaNoWrMo schedule to look at the ms.
Though born and raised in Ireland, I have lived in the US for the past 20 years or so. We're lucky enough to have a drive-in in our town--one of the 400 or so left in the US--and it's an amazing family experience. I wrote an article on the history of the Drive-In which appeared in Cricket, the leading literary magazine for kids over here. I was actually aiming for a slice-of-life story here, as opposed to a big, life-changing event. I have seen plenty of these on the shelves of our local library, so they are being published. But the question is, as you pointed out, will it appeal to kids. I had imagined the pictures carrying much of the humor, and in certain places explanations for the text (such as the dancing hotdog--a staple of intermission during the 50s and 60s).

I'd be delighted to take a look at your revisions but will wait until the brain cells are a bit fresher!

Cheers.

[Laura Chesterson]

They're publishing slice-of-life stories?? Well, how come all the PB witers jumped all over my case when I first showed them my PB a year ago? (Zig, the lion tamer, was a tiny part. It was short and mainly about the crazy circus.) *stomps foot* Darn-it! Everyone told me a children's story had to be just like an adult's with an MC, a conflict, a character arc and a resolution.

I feel cheated!

Plus, I've been telling all the PB authors that I crit that they have to have a plot, and their story can't be slice-of-life. *blushes*

I know Cricket. Great that you got in there! So just disregard my concerns and only look at my punctuation corrections. (At least I know something about grammar!)

[Melissa Shaw-Smith]

Laura--
I hear you!
Just read an interesting post on Tara Lazar's blog (part of piboidmo) about non-conventional approaches to writing PBs. Here's the link taralazar.wordpress.com/2010/11/02/piboidmo-day-2-2/
(For some reason the link button above is not accepting this.)

I think the bottom line is, all good PBs--ie those that get published--need a strong narrative, even if it's not a conventional storyline. I'm off to take a look at your rewrite.