HELP I'M DROWNING

[Beth Fred]

So I have this manuscript that I love. Don't get me wrong, I know it needs work and I've been revising it for five months, but I love the story. It came to me in a dream one night and then I spent about four months writing before I started revising it. 

I have a critique partner and a couple of other people have looked at it too. I've had positive responses from everyone whose read it to the end, but it gets slow in places and has some pacing problems. Thinking I was almost done with editing (after three rounds of revision) I bought an agent critique through an auction. The agent liked the MC and the voice, said the story was engaging but had structural problems. The book has an open ending but the agent did not seem to mind that.

 

Having no idea how to fix that I took a revision class. The feedback I'm getting from my revision class is that the mc is passive, the book starts fifty pages from the ending, and the end is the middle. Again, I like the story. This si the story I want to tell. I could write another book that used the ending as the middle, but I don't want to. What do you do when something is wrong and no one can tell you how to fix it other than tossing it and starting over? 

 

I'm thinking of just fixing the things I know are wrong and then fixing the grammar and querying. I'm not really sure what else to do. 

[Jessie Harrell]

Beth - Don't give up!  I suspect that querying will only lead to a round of rejections that will leave you just as confused b/c you'll either get no comments on why the agent passed or you'll get vague and/or conflicting comments.

You say "it's slow in places and has some pacing problems" -- if YOU think they're slow, they're slow. First, fix that.  Another idea is to get some teenage beta readers.  If you give them specific assignments, they can be quite helpful.  For example, don't just ask them if they liked it or not.  Print out the mss, give them 2 colors of post-in notes and a key.  Green = this part was awesome; Red = B, C, or D (bored, confused, don't believe it) <-- advice I got at an SCBWI conference from a well-written author.  Kids know when they're skimming, lost, or it doesn't sound like another kid.

My advice would be to find some age-appropriate beta readers and some more crit partners whom you trust.  I know it's frustrating.  I spent 2 years writing, revising, reworking my first novel and I still don't have an agent to show for it.  But I'm finally proud of my novel.  Don't make the mistake that SO MANY newbie novelists (including myself) do and query too early. You blow a lot of chances that way.

[Beth Fred]

See, I fixed most of the parts I thought was slow, but added some things in kind of responding to some critiques I'd gotten from people. That slowed the beginning down, andI guess it was slower than I realized to begin with. So the part I would fix now is to cut another chunk out of the beginning and give more of an aim to two chapters towards the end. But as for making the end the middle and stuff like that, I really don't agree. I didn't realize there were pacing problems until the agent's critique.

 

It's a good idea for the teen beta readers. Umm (I don't mean to sound naive) but where do u find them? Thanks Jesse

[Ashley Rhone]

I went through the same problems when I first began my novel. What I did to help that was cut material that honestly doesn't help the plot or help get to it's point. That way I was able to push up many of the chapters, making my novel shorter and faster-paced. Perhaps you should try that and see what the results are like. :)

[Beth Fred]

I'm going to. I hope to find some teen agers too.

[Ashley Rhone]

Well, I'm pretty much a teenager still, (17), Would you like to try your story on me?
Beth Fred said:

I'm going to. I hope to find some teen agers too.

[Beth Fred]

Yes, that would be great. can u message me ur email and i will shoot it over to you?
Ashley Rhone said:

Well, I'm pretty much a teenager still, (17), Would you like to try your story on me?
Beth Fred said:

I'm going to. I hope to find some teen agers too.

[Ashley Rhone]

I just sent you a friend invite. :)

Beth Fred said:

Yes, that would be great. can u message me ur email and i will shoot it over to you?
Ashley Rhone said:

Well, I'm pretty much a teenager still, (17), Would you like to try your story on me?
Beth Fred said:

I'm going to. I hope to find some teen agers too.

[Janelle Weiner]

Hi Beth. That is a tough one. Messing with structure can definitely feel like writing a completely different book. But if you're getting the same response from more than one person, it might be something to *try*. Then get the restructured book beta'd and see what kind of feedback you get.  Otherwise, as a previous poster mentioned, you may end up with a bunch of rejections, and those aren't very helpful. 

After doing four revisions of my current novel, I saved a copy of the latest revision as "Experimental" and started going to town on that version. That way, that latest "I like it this way" draft is still the primary version (no tossing and starting over!), but now there is an experimental draft to play with. It's very freeing.