How do you deal with romance in YA and sex

[LM Preston]

In my current WIP I am dealing with older teenagers. I only plan on them kissing, giving each other a hicky of sorts and hugging but I want to make it sexy. Does anyone know of any YA books to recommend that does this well in the midst of a very action packed story? I want to make sure mine isn't too mature for them. The WIP I am doing is an adventure story, but I built some romantic tension/relationship between the characters. Not too much to turn off the boys, but just enough to keep the girls very intrigued.

[Paula Chase Hyman]

Honestly, if it's upper YA and you're only going as far as kissing, hickys, "petting," I wouldn't worry about it being too mature at all. Kissing and making out are tame. Describing how those kisses feel, the inside of the person's mouth or their breath on a body part are sexy without being too graphic.

If you were going to "go there" with the sex however, I think there are a lot of YA books that handle sex scenes well. I have quite a book crush on how Coe Booth did it in Kendra. She depicted the sex in a very overt way, very descriptive without being graphic. I'd say there were elements of "sexy" there, for sure. In Just Listen, Sarah Dessen handles a near date rape well, describing how the male character is groping and forcing himself, without it being icky.

My series was more sweet YA, still several of the characters were sexually active. I wouldn't be uncomfortable with a 13 year old reading my series, but I would be a bit shy of having an 11 year old read it. I describe the "petting" in detail but never the sex itself.

I'd suggest you not let the worry of whether it's too mature or not bother you when you first write. Just write it the way you see it/feel it and censor/edit yourself later based on how you feel when you read it back.

[KC Clyburn]

I agree with Paula--I think you should write it first. Making out and hickeys can be intense without having to go into too much detail. You can describe the feeling and maybe the emotion of the moments without going into all the detail. I'd say it's probably best to trust your instincts--if there's something telling you that you're going too far, you probably are, at least for you. My "line" is pretty far, but if I have to ask myself if I'm about cross it, it usually means I'm at the point where I am.

[JJ]

Maggie Stiefvater does sex/making-out/romance exquisitely well in SHIVER. I sort of hold that book as the YA bible for "how to make things sexy but real."

[Paula Chase Hyman]

Hmm...I'm reading Shiver now. Haven't gotten to the sexy parts yet. Looking forward, now.

JJ said:

Maggie Stiefvater does sex/making-out/romance exquisitely well in SHIVER. I sort of hold that book as the YA bible for "how to make things sexy but real."

[LM Preston]

Thanks everyone. I'm going to pick it up for my daughter - she may like that. She is reading James Patterson right now. I am just going to write it out the way I feel it then feel it out with my teenaged betas (I am lucky to have five devoted teen betas who read for me, but I am always recruiting new betas of YA so ......if you are interested let me know).

[Nicky Strickland]

Cool that you have age relevant betas. I've managed to find two but am waiting for the summer holidays to kick in here for them to do some reading (about another fortnight or so) for feedback.

Good luck with your scenes.

[LM Preston]

If any of you need age related beta's my daughter loves to beta and has beta read for other YA authors. She gives good honest feedback and does it for free :-D

Nicky Strickland said:

Cool that you have age relevant betas. I've managed to find two but am waiting for the summer holidays to kick in here for them to do some reading (about another fortnight or so) for feedback.

Good luck with your scenes.

[Jessie Harrell]

I would always love to have anotherbeta. What subject matter does she like? I have a YA paranormal/historical fiction.


LM Preston said:

If any of you need age related beta's my daughter loves to beta and has beta read for other YA authors. She gives good honest feedback and does it for free :-D Nicky Strickland said:

Cool that you have age relevant betas. I've managed to find two but am waiting for the summer holidays to kick in here for them to do some reading (about another fortnight or so) for feedback.

Good luck with your scenes.

[Georgia McBride]

I'm more worried about my parents reading my books than teens. They are bombarded by messages about sex from the media, their friends, etc. I mean, have you seen the latest Reebox commercial with the talking boobs? Having said that, this was a concern for me for several reasons. My book has the potential to appeal to the Christian YA market and I wanted to be sure it would do that in all areas. So I used the heightened senses of my protag to explore the auditory response relative to what was happening. It was a totally different POV. The sound of someone sliding against 1000 thread count sheets, zipping/unzipping, popping buttons, etc. It was fun to write. From that, the reader can go into his/her own imagination and decide what is happening in the scene and in the end, I've told you little--but quite a lot at the same time.

[Michal Putman]

A book I truly enjoyed as being very sexy with no sex was 'Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side' and I highly recommend it for any teen or teen reader.

[Jessie Harrell]

I try to make my writing romantic but not graphic one yard stick I have is whether the parents of my betas would be upset with me. Kissing and nuzzling described everthing else is only implied. That's me anyway.

[Paula Chase Hyman]

Jessie, I think how you gauge it is very interesting. I've had this conversation with a lot of writers re: who do you write for when it comes to the controversial/uncomfortable etc...I've never had anyone think about the parents of the reader, though some have indicated their own parental threshold as measuring parameters.